Why boycott the Olympics when you can boycott Earth Day?

Earth Day has to be the worst holiday ever.  As you read this you are probably already getting on your phone and preparing to call the EPA or PETA but hear me out first.  I am not against taking care of the earth, but I am against making the earth an idol.  God created the earth for us to enjoy but He also placed us as stewards of the earth.  What do I think a steward of the earth is?  It would be a person who takes care of what God has entrusted him with, does not do anything to purposefully destroy God’s creation or abuse it, but is also someone who enjoys the creation in a variety of ways.  I like to see the things that God created, and I also like to use the resources that God created.  I like to heat my home, I like to use my car, I like to turn on my lights, and most importantly…I love to eat creation.  God opened up the buffet of His creation when Noah got off the ark.  It was almost like He allowed Noah to preview all of the great animals to eat while he was with them on the ark.  If I was Noah, I would have went to town on the first cow that came out of that ark.  Love me some steak, love me some good meat.  I’m going to be a good steward of the earth by enjoying God’s creation and the wonderful flavors of His creation.  So…why am I boycotting Earth Day?  Here are my big reasons why…

–The earth is not going to end until God’s time comes to end the earth.  Do you think God is concerned about global warming (if it even exists?) or an energy crisis?  God wants us to use wisely what He has given us but He also is the one who is under control.  The liberals are trying to make us forget about God by telling us that we are the ones who are destroying the earth.  Do we not forget that sin is the cause for the earth’s deterioration?  The liberals want to place government in control of the way we should take care of the earth because they have no place for God.  That is why I’m boycotting Earth Day.

–Liberals are using saving the earth and alternative fuel plans as a way of exploiting the poor.  If there wasn’t money involved in it, the liberals could care less about saving the environment.  The more ideas they come up with, the more government controls us and the more the rich get richer.  When I hear that Al Gore (can we just call him mother earth?) has huge investments in alternative fuel methods and is demanding that the government go through with these programs, that makes me really upset.  Government programs and mother earth loving individuals are exploiting the poor.  As they get rich from their investments, normal people are struggling with paying more for food, gas, and utilities.  That’s what the liberals are all about, gorging themselves on riches while the rest of the country suffers.  That is why I’m boycotting Earth Day.

–My last reason, probably the most important, is because Earth Day is teaching our world that the earth is our god.  Even the fact we call it mother nature attributes a deity like quality to it.  It makes me sick when we are taught to worship the earth and our children are being slowly brainwashed to worship the created over the Creator.  In my family I will make sure that we are stewards of what God has created but I will also make sure that our worship and service is to God and not to the earth.  That is why I’m boycotting Earth Day.

Just because I’m boycotting Earth Day doesn’t mean I’m going to destroy and abuse the earth.  So cheer up Smoky the Bear, I will not be starting a forest fire.  Don’t worry Stanford tree, I’ll make sure I recycle certain items (ESPN commercial reference).  But PETA, I will be enjoying a nice piece of cooked meat; and EPA, I will be driving my car; and world, I will be teaching my daughter to love God and not the earth.